Great Influencers Avoid This Trap
Convincing Isn’t the Way
As discussed in prior posts, there is a general, societal misunderstanding about the concept of sales.
In John David Mann’s and my book, Go-Givers Sell More, we write…
“People often think of sales as a business of *convincing.*”
As we then point out, however…
Key Point: “Great salespeople never try to convince anyone of anything.”
Why not? Because...
The effort to *convince* contains within itself the seeds of its own undoing. The word ‘convince’ derives from the Latin vincere, meaning ‘to conquer.’ To convince means ‘to overcome in argument.’
“A person convinced against their will,” says Dale Carnegie in How to Win Friends and Influence People, “is of the same opinion still.” And really, is there any other way to be convinced than against your will?
Indeed, it’s so much more effective to “persuade” than it is to try and convince (or — as mentioned above — conquer).
Persuasion occurs when, having the best interest and well-being of the other person at heart, you simply help them to discover what it is they are looking to accomplish/attain and then gently guide them to that action.
And because they are the one who ultimately makes the decision, they are about 100 percent more likely to take ownership of that commitment and stay committed to it.
Important Point: Convincing often requires manipulation, which is actually the very opposite of persuasion. While persuasion has benevolent (win/win) intent, manipulation is much more focused on benefitting the manipulator.
However, “convincing” — in and of itself — isn’t necessarily of benevolent or malevolent intent as much as it is simply a *very ineffective* way of trying to influence a person to a desired action.
Dale Carnegie was right! Don’t convince.
Do persuade.
THAT is Genuine Influence!
Today’s Exercise: Stay conscious during every conversation today in which you are attempting to move someone to a desired action. Are you effectively persuading? Or are you falling into the “convincing trap?” If the latter, please understand that it’s very natural; it’s very human. So please don’t judge yourself. This might be a good time to re-read a few pages of Mr. Carnegie’s book. I always find that to be helpful.